


I'll Do Anything

by CozmoCreepers



Category: Kiefer Sutherland - Fandom
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:08:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25828693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CozmoCreepers/pseuds/CozmoCreepers
Summary: Sometimes the one we didn't realise we were looking for, were standing in front of us the whole time.
Relationships: Kiefer Sutherland/Original Female Character
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

February 25th 2016  
Tears soaked the sheets as she cried. Pouring her heart out to her mattress. Eye’s red, puffy from the continued onslaught of memories that reminded her of much happier times before her world came crashing to a halt. She’d not washed, barely eaten or drunk anything and had not spoken much since it happened. Family and friends came to try and tempt her from the cocoon she’d made of her bed, her only sanctuary. They’d only succeeded in flying her from the home she’d made in New York, back to the place she grew up in England. Hoping that being around things that didn’t remind her but were memories of growing up would help bring her out of her debilitating mourning. It didn’t.

Her mother had tried screaming at her with frustration to get her to snap out of it, in a desperate attempt to help, but her daughter just laid there, on her side staring unseeing out her bedroom floor to ceiling window that showed fields over the back of the property. Her father had tried the gentler approach, saying how worried they all were about her, and while they all knew she needed time to grieve, she needed to move on with her life. It still was no use. 

She had a good friend around her though, her assistant, Anna, had been the one to contact her parents saying she was concerned at how closed down and depressed their daughter had become, even though knowing the rocky relationship the three had, she hoped it might help that they be there for her. It didn’t.

Anna was fixing her and her employer some lunch when the parents came into the kitchen after another failed attempt to rouse their daughter from her bed. “I just don’t know what to do, if she carries on like this for much longer, we might have to look at getting a doctor involved” the mother, Karen whinged “This is NOT healthy, and not fair on anyone, including us”. Anna sighed, worried she might actually have to agree, but before she could respond, her phone starting ringing. She asked the father, Paul, to take up the sandwich that she knew would go uneaten, or nibbled at the edges at the very least if lucky, while she took the call. She walked to the French windows at the back of the house and closed them behind her for privacy as she accepted the call.

“Hello?”  
“Hi Anna, it’s Kiefer. I just thought I should call and see how Nova’s doing”.  
Anna was relieved to hear Kiefer’s voice, at least she could have a level headed conversations as she couldn’t talk with her mute employer, and the parents were frustrating to deal with. Anna could understand why Nova’s relationship with her parents had been so rocky. She sighed again.  
“Hi Kiefer, yeah she’s still not great.”  
“Has she gotten out of bed yet?” he enquired hopefully but already knowing the answer.  
“No, she nibbles at food sometimes, and she’s still not saying much”.  
Now was Kiefer’s turn to sigh, Anna continued.  
“And her parents are driving me a little insane, I swear I’m going to get eye issues with the amount of times they roll because of them”  
She heard Kiefer’s low rumbling laugh, he knew full well what they were like.  
“I just don’t know what to do” Anna said with a sense of guilt. She felt she was letting everybody down. Including Kiefer. He was supposed to start work on his first music album very soon, which Nova had agreed to help produce and work on, but it was looking very unlikely now.

“Listen, I’ve got some days off from next week. Do you think it would help if I came over…” Kiefer was going to continue but Anna interrupted him.  
“Absolutely! You’ve known her for decades, much longer than me, and you and I both know she doesn’t respond well to her parents. You might be able to pull her out of this hole she’s dug for herself” she sounded hopeful. 

Anna knew Kiefer and Nova had a close friendship. They’d first met at a concert for the band that Nova was in at Wembley back when she was about 19. It was her foot in the door to the career she’d managed to accomplish. Kiefer’s daughter, Sarah, had been a big fan of the band and begged her dad to take her. Of course, being a Hollywood actor had its perks, and he’d got backstage passes for afterwards.

May 23rd 2002  
Nova had just got out the shower when there was a knock at her dressing room door, wrapped in a towel, she made her way to the door and opened it a jar to see who it was. Adrian the tour manager smiled back at her “Hey, sorry to disturb, but Kiefer Sutherland was at the show tonight and is in the green room with his daughter who’s a big fan. Would you mind?”. Nova’s eyes had widened and a smile formed “Kiefer Sutherland? Really?” she half laughed. “Yeah!” Adrian confirmed. “Wow, ok” she blinked and slightly shook her head in disbelief, “I’ll get dressed and come out.” She confirmed.

Nova threw on some clean clothes, and started using the hair drier. Going into a bit of a daze as she did so, remembering that only a few short years ago she’d had the biggest crush on him. At the time, she’d bought as many movies of his as she could get her hands on, that was how it worked for her. She’d become obsessed with some actor, musician, or band and have to get everything they ever did. Have a really intense infatuation until the next subject came along, and that was how her obsessive personality worked. It was all harmless fun in her eyes, and she never took it too far, and she definitely knew her limits. The countless times she’d been offered drugs like cocaine and ecstasy and refused because she knew she’d very easily become addicted. She was already dependent on coffee, alcohol and weed, she didn’t want to get in too deep. “Here we go” she said taking a deep breath, “Let’s hope I don’t act like a complete twat”. Her crush on Kiefer had substantially subsided by now, and there had been other musicians and actors come and go in the years since, but that didn’t mean she didn’t still find him attractive, and that was the reason for her nerves. 

She entered the green room to find there were a few people milling about the large room, some were at the buffet helping themselves, and there was a complimentary bar fitted in somehow, the room didn’t seem big enough for it, but there it was. Nova walked up to the bar tender and asked for a bottle of Bud, she saw the bar tender reach for a glass “A bottles fine thanks” she confirmed and he opened it for her. She turned to face the room and noticed Kiefer standing with whom must have been his daughter, as well as Laura and Emma from the band, chatting. She used to know Kiefer’s daughter’s name, but over the years had forgotten. Before she could push herself off the bar to go and say hello, Megan, one of her band mates caught her attention and stood next to her at the bar.

“Jack Bauer was at the show tonight with his daughter Sarah” Megan said, ordering herself a glass of wine. Nova sipped her beer and made a mental note of the daughters name. Sarah. “Please don’t tell me you called him Jack Bauer?” Nova rolled her eyes and faced her friend. “Yeah” Megan said shrugging, “And?”. “Oh for fuck sake” Nova sighed and turned to face the barman. Leaning against the bar she side eyed Megan. “WHAT?” Megan exclaimed. “He’s a fucking Hollywood actor, that’s what” Nova scolded. “Ugh, stop it” Megan whinged. “Stop what?” Nova was confused. “Stop being all fan girl.” Megan’s advice wasn’t welcome. “I’m not being all fan girl” Nova laughed back at her friends audacity. They both turned to look in the direction Kiefer was in and Nova turned back “He is pretty cute in the flesh though” she grinned. “Oh brother” Megan was the one rolling her eyes now. “Wish me luck” Nova smirked as she scooped her bottle of Budweiser off the bar, and headed over to Kiefer, Sarah, Laura and Emma. 

Nova felt a twang of nerves in her stomach as she approached but nothing she hadn’t had to handle before meeting celebrities. She’d become more and more use to it being in the band, touring Europe and meeting more celebrities of varying degrees of fame in the last 3 years than she could shake a stick at. This was no way near the most nervous she’d felt meeting someone with fame. She squeezed herself between Laura and Emma “Alright?” she coyly asked, with an attempt to interrupt the conversation that had been going on before she’d joined. As she had walked over she’d heard Emma moaning about something with tonight’s show, which was nothing new. “And don’t think I didn’t notice you moved off your mark when you weren’t supposed to!” Emma scolded Nova. Nova eyed Kiefer and his daughter, rolling her eyes comically, earning a smile from Sarah and a low chuckle from Kiefer. “Oh Emma, god forbid” she jokingly responded to Emma, “God forbid I move off my mark earlier than I’m supposed to and go to the edge of the stage to pay attention to the crowd, who were great tonight by the way, who pay our bread and butter, and enable us to play such arena’s as Wembley” Nova said in a theatrical style, mocking her friend, then smirked at Kiefer and Sarah. Kiefer eyed his daughter with a smile and put his arm round her shoulder as Sarah looked up at her dad shyly.

“We HAVE moments in the show for things like that” Emma wasn’t letting this go. Nova huffed and looked at Emma as if to say “Really?”. “Well we do!” Emma softened, realising she may have been a bit harsh, but she was a perfectionist when it came to the routines and where you were meant to be and when during a performance. It wasn’t a bad thing, just annoying, and Emma knew Nova liked to do little things to annoy the managers of their pop band, and the girls knew that Nova was growing tired of being told what to do, when to do it, how to do it, and perfect it. The Osmond lifestyle she’d gotten herself into had grown tiring, not physically, but mentally. She’d wanted to have input for the albums they were putting out, but had been denied. Which she had always thought being in a band would mean that some creative input would be required, when she’d first been told she’d won a spot in the band, she’d taught herself to play guitar and had become pretty good at it over the years. However, any songs she had submitted of her own were rejected. This factory made group had song writers, choreographers for dancing, stylists for picking out clothes for them and there were strict restrictions for what they could and couldn’t wear, even if they weren’t working. No tattoos, no piercings (other than ears, which Nova had deliberately decided to get an industrial piercing, as well as a couple of well placed tattoos, knowing full well the bands manager would go ape shit, and order her to remove. She didn’t, and won one argument at least). It was like living as a prisoner in some sense, and she had grown to resent it bitterly. 

“Anyways” Nova said loudly, turned from Emma to look at Kiefer and Sarah, she extended her hand towards Kiefer and then Sarah “I’m Nova” smiling genuinely “Its lovely to meet you both”. “Hi I’m Kiefer. The pleasures all ours Nova, my daughter Sarah is a big fan of the band, and you’re her favourite” he then oofed as he felt his daughter’s elbow in his side. Nova laughed at the exchange between them “Well its very nice to meet you Sarah. Did you enjoy the show?” Nova focused her attention to Sarah, knowing she was Sarah’s favourite, she wanted to make sure Sarah had a positive experience, unlike some of the experiences Nova had had with some of her hero’s over the years. Much to her dismay. 

Sarah nodded and confirmed eagerly “It was brilliant” she lifted the album and pen she’d been holding in her hands the whole time and nervously asked “Would it be ok to get a signature and picture with you please” she asked politely, wanting to make a good impression. Nova took the album and pen “I’d be honoured” she smiled back and signed the cover. Sarah proceeded to tell Nova her favourite song and which song she liked most in the set. Handing the album back to Sarah, Nova was curious. “So how did you hear about us? Cuz we haven’t managed to crack America”. “Well my sister, who lives in Scotland listened to your music when I went to stay with her” Sarah confirmed. “Aaahh I see. That’s great!” Nova smiled. “So good ol’ dad bought you over for a gig, wow that’s amazing” She said scratching the back of her head and the thought of Kiefer doing something so sweet for his daughter. “Not JUST for the gig I hope” Nova raised an eyebrow at Kiefer. “Well we thought we’d take a little holiday in London that coincided with one of your concerts”. Nova was impressed. “Well Mr. Sutherland, I have to say, I’ve been a follower of your career. Loved you in Young Guns”. Nova gushed a little but managed to not sound like the idiot she thought she’d turn into. “Oh that’s so sweet, thank you.” She could swear he blushed a little with the compliment. Nova moved to stand next to Sarah and sipped at her beer, the noise level around them was increasing as crew were making their way in to take full advantage of a complimentary bar. 

“You were really good tonight, I have to admit it’s not my usual taste in music,” Kiefer said leaning in slightly due to the noise, as did Nova to focus on hearing him better “But I really enjoyed myself. You put on an amazing show that’s very fun, I couldn’t look away” he commended, Nova laughed to herself at his comment, her mind was always in the gutter, but she was like that with everyone, “Oh aye! You need to be careful about that, Dad!” she joked, nudging Sarah who giggled. “No, I’m sorry I didn’t mean…” Kiefer tried to backtrack but Nova interrupted, “It’s ok, I’m just messin’ with ya” Nova laughed with Sarah. 

Nova noticed neither Kiefer nor Sarah had any drinks then, she could of sworn she remembered Kiefer liked a drink. “Hey you guys want a drink?” She offered, sipping on her beer. “Well actually, is there any way you and the girls, and anyone you wanna bring, would like to go out for a bite to eat?” He asked this seeming a little nervous. “Really?” Nova questioned, a little shocked. “My treat” Kiefer confirmed. Nova looked across to Emma and Laura who were mid conversation. “Guys!” She had to raise her voice now, they both looked at Nova, who’d leaned over towards them “You wanna get something to eat with Kiefer and his daughter?” She was struggling to accept the words coming out of her mouth. “YEAH!” Laura and Emma said in unison. “Ok let’s see if Megan and Bex are up for it.”

Kiefer, his daughter, the band and their entourage, which consisted of about 3 other people tonight, piled into Brown’s Restaurant over in Leicester Square after filling up 2 black London taxi’s. Luckily it was a weekday and by that time, the place wasn’t heaving. A steady flow of chatter around them as diners enjoyed the meals, easy listening piping through the restaurants sound system. As the waiter went to seat them, Nova noticed that Bex was going to sit down next to Kiefer, but quickly managed to manoeuvre between them and push Bex further down the table “Oi!” Bex exclaimed, “Sssh!” Nova whispered, checking Kiefer wasn’t paying attention, luckily he was talking to someone, looking the other way. “I need to sit next to him” Nova still whispered. “Why?” Bex said, seemingly annoyed. “I wanna talk to him about” Nova paused, “stuff”. “STUFF?!” Bex exclaimed again. “Ssshhh!” Nova hushed, “Stuff and shit”. Bex tutted and rolled her eyes, and sat down one place from where she’d planned so Nova could sit next to Kiefer.

Nova sat there looking round the table while everyone looked at their menu’s desperately trying to remember something about Kiefer, glancing at her menu now and then, a snippet of information that she could just remember to strike up a conversation with him. The waiter took Nova’s drink order, a pint of beer, asking for the house recommendations. “Sounds good, I’ll have what she’s having” Kiefer ordered. They both smiled at one another. GUITARS! Nova suddenly remembered that Kiefer had an extensive collection of guitars. 

Nova sat her elbows on the table, resting her chin on her hands and turned to Kiefer who was perusing the menu. “So tell me about you’re guitar collection Kiefer” Nova asked. Kiefer looked at her a little surprised she’d want to discuss a topic like that, and that she knew about his collection. “My guitars?” he queried, “Yeah!” Nova confirmed. “Well, what do you wanna know?” the waiter sat their drinks down then and they both took a long sip. “Ok, so what’s your favourite guitar, the one that holds the most special sentiment to you. You’re baby?” She asked smiling. Kiefer thought it was a great question, especially for someone who he knew probably bounced up and down to someone else’s songs for a living and couldn’t read music. “Oh man, that has to be my Gibson Acoustic J-45 M” he smiled as he spoke. Nova noticed the way he spoke of his guitars and music, the love he spoke of was palpable. Through the course of the conversation, Kiefer realised Nova knew a little bit about guitars and played. However, he noted how cagey she became when talking about writing and why the band didn’t write their own music. Nova hadn’t noticed she was now leaning on the table, her left hand keeping her head up as she listened intently to Kiefer. She was only disturbed by the waiter bringing their food. 

The meal was a very merry occasion, Nova kept chatting with Sarah, who was sat the other side of Kiefer. They laughed and shared funny stories. Being the noisiest guests in the restaurant as the place filtered out. Nova glanced over at the clock on the wall behind the bar of the restaurant, 1:20am. Ouch! They really should have been closed by now, but having celebrities in your restaurant pays, so the staff patiently waited. “Er, guys” Nova called to the rest of the table, “I think these good people would like to get to bed now” she offered, expletives sounding around her as everyone started to realise the time. The bill promptly was placed on the table. “I’ll take that” Kiefer called out as he grabbed the bill, followed by a chorus of thanks you’s from the dinner guests. Kiefer removed his wallet from his pocket. “Kiefer,” Nova got his attention, “You know, there’s a lot of us, I don’t mind paying for the meal” she offered, “Hush now” Kiefer stated sweetly, now warmed by the alcohol he’d consumed “It is my absolute pleasure to treat you and everybody”. Much to the rest of the tables delight. “But..” Nova trying to interject. “Nope!” He placed his credit card in the leather wallet containing the bill. 

Once outside Kiefer lit up a cigarette. Turning to see Nova chatting with one of the girls in the band. He approached her with his daughter in tow who was now very tired and in great need of her bed. “Nova, I’m sorry, I have to get Sarah back to the hotel. She’s dead on her feet. It’s been such an amazing night, thank you so much for coming to dinner with us”. “Are you kidding! It’s been great! And so lovely to meet you both” Nova was slurring slightly now. It seems the cool night air had hit her and the alcohol she consumed once she’d stepped outside the restaurant. “Would it be ok to exchange numbers?” Kiefer asked, pulling his phone from his pocket. Surprising Nova “Oh yeah! Sure” she confirmed a little wobbly underfoot. They exchanged phone numbers.

From that day on, they had stayed in touch, meeting every few months when the time in their schedules permitted. They became firm friends, hanging out in bars and getting snapped by the paparazzi, falling on their arses on the curbs outside said bars at 2am laughing so hard they had tears down their cheeks and barely able to breath. They’d met one anothers families and gone out on family days together. The media quickly decided that they must be a couple. Making statements in magazines and such, but the pair always denied it. Simply because it wasn’t true, they were just very good friends.

The rumours stopped when Nova met David, a rock star who she’d admired since she was little. She’d managed to escape the confines of the band she was in thanks to David, and he took her on as a member of his band he recorded and toured with. They’d quickly fallen in love, married and became a rock music power couple. The media had soon moved on from assuming Nova and Kiefer had been secretly dating to, “The 30 year odd age gap between Nova and David”. All through their marriage, Kiefer and Nova still hung out and got into trouble together, but there seemed to be no story in the pair dating now Nova was happily married.


	2. Chapter 2

February 25th 2016  
“Please come Kiefer” Anna begged. “Let me speak with her parents” Kiefer asked, “Really?” Anna asked, pulling a face. “Of course” Kiefer laughed lowly. Anna went back into the house, Karen was pacing around the kitchen. Anna walked over and handed the phone to her “Its Kiefer”. Karen took the phone “Oh Kiefer!” she said over dramatically, “Has Anna told you? We just don’t know what to do with her!” her voice began to wobble as she began to whale down the phone at Kiefer. Paul entered the kitchen while they spoke. Her miming to him that Kiefer was on the phone, earning an encouraging head nod for his wife. 

“Oh that would be wonderful Kiefer. She listens to you and I’d feel so much better if you were here. Her father and I need a break from this. It’s so draining!” She stated to him, dramatically as usual. Anna rolled her eyes as she tucked into her lunch. Kiefer had shared his plan with her, in the hopes it might take some of the strain off Anna. Nova’s parents knew Kiefer relatively well due to their daughter’s friendship with him, and Kiefer knew what Nova’s parents were like, and knew exactly how to handle them. Something that annoyed Nova over the years as she’d never managed to do it herself! It just didn’t work when she tried. 

“Ok, yeah, ok love, see you soon. Bye” Karen handed the phone back to Anna. “Well I feel better now I know Kiefer will be here soon. She listens to him, if anyone can get Nova out of that bed, its Kiefer” she said confidently. “We got her out of bed in New York” Anna reminded her, “Yes, but you know what I mean Anna” Karen scolded. Anna ignored her and finished up with her lunch. “It means we’ll be able to have a break and go home for a bit dear” Karen said to Paul, “Yes dear” he sighed back at her. 

March 4th 2016  
Anna and Nova’s parents were watching TV in the lounge space when Anna stood up “Kiefer’s here” she let them know. He’d text her as his driver had turned onto the drive. They all got up and went out the front door to greet him as his car pulled in front of the house. Paul shook Kiefer’s hand once he’d climbed out of the car and proceeded to help the driver unload his bags from the boot. Karen latched onto Kiefer for a tight welcoming hug “I’m so glad to see you, she’s such a mess” she cried out, faking the wobble in her tone. “It’s good to see you too”. Kiefer then hugged Anna who whispered “I’m so glad you’re here” into his ear, the desperation in her voice settling slightly. Kiefer chuckled lowly so only Anna heard. “Let’s get you set up then” Paul stated as he carried Kiefer’s bags into the house. “Oh I can take them, don’t worry about it” Kiefer went to take the bags. “No no Kiefer, you’ve had a long flight, we’re so glad you’re here, let me” Paul insisted, his tone sincere and of appreciation and hopefulness. Kiefer thought there were tears in his eyes, but Paul turned away before he could see for sure. They walked into the house and into the kitchen while Paul took Kiefer’s bags to one of the guest rooms upstairs. Anna made Kiefer a coffee and Karen a tea as they chatted small talk. Asking about Kiefer’s flight and Kiefer getting an update on Nova’s condition. No change. 

Paul came back downstairs. “Right, well once you’ve finished that,” indicating to Karen’s tea, “we’ll leave these good folks in peace”. Anna quietly sighed in relief. “But..” Karen interjected, “No” Paul said sternly, “Kiefer’s here, we’ve been here almost every day for over a month”. “But what if..” she started, “If anything changes, Anna or Kiefer will let us know” he finished. Sighing, Karen agreed, finished her tea, and they left. Anna waved them off, “Good riddance” she said through clenched teeth as they drove off down the drive way “Yeah, fuck off”. She slammed the front door shut, jumped over the back of the sofa and relaxed, exhaling a deep sigh of relief “Thank FUCK their gone!!” she exclaimed. Kiefer laughed, “That bad huh?” he asked. “Ugh, like you wouldn’t believe” she huffed. Doing an impression of Karen and the demands she dished out and the unhelpful comments she’d said. “You just gotta know how to handle them” Kiefer smiled as he leaned over the back of the sofa, looking down at her sweetly. “Pffftt! He’s ok, it’s her!” Anna sniped, squinting her eyes and pursing her lips tightly at the thought of her. “Oh Paul can be just as bad sometimes” Kiefer added as he went to walk up the stairs. Anna wedged herself up on an elbow to watch him go upstairs, calling after him “Good luck!”.

Kiefer knocked on the bedroom door gently, opening it he called out just as gently “Nova?” He saw a mass under the duvet on the four poster bed, but it didn’t move. He stepped inside and shut the door. Silently padding round the bed to see Nova’s face peaking out from a hole in the duvet she’d made by wrapping it round her head. Eye red, skin tear stained, laying on her side, staring out the beautiful window at the fields. A common position she had taken up. Kiefer knelt down beside the bed and leaned forward to kiss Nova’s forehead. “Hey darlin’, I’m so sorry” he said as unexpected tears filled his eyes and he tried to sniff them back. He wanted to be strong for her, but seeing her like this, this broken, eyes empty and just staring at nothing, he’d never seen her like this, even remotely and it created an ache in his chest. She’d always been happy and fun loving, but now she never moved, just stared into space. He rested a hand on her cheek, using his thumb to gentle stroke her skin, “Nova?” he tried again. Nova blinked, then blinked again and moved her eyes to see Kiefer. “Kiefer?” she said very huskily from not talking for however long. He gave a sweet consoling smile “Hey” he said gruffly. Not long after they made eye contact, Nova’s face crumpled and the tears flowed once more “He’s gone” she cried, Kiefer leaned over to wrap his arms round her as best as he could given her position, “I know, I know sweetheart” he struggled to hold his own emotions back, checking himself and silently admonishing himself for faltering again. “Why did he have to die?” Nova cried as Kiefer held her tighter and began to rock her where she lay, “I don’t know sweetheart, I don’t know” his tears now escaped him, he couldn’t help it though she would never know, he felt the pain she was experiencing. Like he could touch it as it was pouring off her like water. She cried hysterically, so he climbed over her, under the duvet, unwrapping her from the cocoon she had made herself. Pulling her to him and just holding her as tightly as he knew she’d let him. Consoling her and wishing her pain would end “Ssssshhhh, it’s ok” he whispered into her hair, “Ssshhh”.

Kiefer had spent two days with Nova in bed. Holding her while she cried, comforting her as best as he could. He got up to get washed and dressed, and eat etc, but every minute he wasn’t taking care of himself, he was in bed with her. Just to be there for her. On the third morning, he was sat at the kitchen breakfast bar talking with Anna “How did you get her to leave New York?” he asked, because he found it impossible to believe that the woman upstairs would get out of bed for anything. “It wasn’t hard,” said Anna, “when her parents said they thought it best she come home, she came quiet willingly” Laura took a spoon of cereal to her mouth. “Really?” Kiefer asked a little shocked. “Yep” Anna confirmed, her mouth full of cereal, trying not to let any escape her lips. Kiefer continued eating his breakfast, thinking. 

After breakfast, he went back up to Nova’s bedroom, but instead of getting into bed beside her, he went round to her side of the bed, where she stared out the window. Kneeling down, he sighed looking at her, Nova continued to look out the window, not acknowledging his presence. Kiefer rubbed his face and then placed a hand on her arm, “Nova?” he called to her. She looked at him then. Gently he spoke to her, and what he said caused her to furrow her brow inquisitively “I’m taking you to my ranch”. 

The first time Nova had sat up in bed in a long time, was when she questioned Kiefer about taking her to his ranch in Montana. “Why?” she asked, clearing her throat for not speaking in a while. Feeling exhausted. Kiefer began gathering her bits and chucking them in a suitcase he’d found in the wardrobe. “Because you’ve always wanted to go there, and you’ll be left alone” He continued to grab things to throw in the case on the bed, making a mental note that if he found where she kept her underwear, he’d leave it, as this spur of the moment plan unravelled in his head. “I’m left alone here” she said as she rubbed the side of her face and eyes. “In this house yes, but outside your front gate there are a shit tonne of paparazzi waiting for you to leave” he told her. “They’re not bothering me though” Nova sighed, she was happy to live in her bed at this point. Kiefer moved to sit on the bed in front of her “I want you to come to Montana with me, you’ve always said you’d like to go to my ranch, what’s stopping you?” he asked her. 

He had her there, she had always wanted to go, but the timing had never planned out. Plus she knew Kiefer had always boasted how quiet it was from the press, in the middle of nowhere, with glorious views surrounding. While she’d never been big on riding, she had always wanted to ride western, which Kiefer said he would teach her one day, and she knew Kiefer would try to get her doing stuff, like riding and working the ranch if she went. It seemed like such a chore and effort to go there and she really didn’t want to do anything right now, but for a split second her curiosity got the better of her. “Ok”.


	3. Chapter 3

March 10th 2016  
Kiefer watched her as she looked out the car window. Watching and waiting for any kind of reaction from Nova. Now they were in Montana, he’d hoped for at least some kind of recognition for the scenes that surrounded them on the drive to the ranch from the airport. No such luck. He sighed, worrying to himself that bringing her here now may have been the wrong time for her to take it all in fully. 

They pulled up in front of the beautifully architectured house, John was waiting outside to greet them. John had been friends with Kiefer for years, and looked after the ranch while Kiefer wasn’t there. John and Kiefer hugged each other in greeting, while the driver took the bags up to the front door. “Good to see you John” Kiefer patted John on the back during their greeting, “Thanks for getting the place ready for us”, he was about to introduce Nova to John, but she’d walked right by them and into the house. “And that’s Nova” Kiefer sighed. They both looked at the house where she’d disappeared, seemingly a little embarrassed. John put a supportive hand on Kiefer’s shoulder “It’s ok, it’ll take time” John confirmed. They both walked into the house to find Nova stood at the bottom of the stair case looking up, she looked over to Kiefer, then back up the stairs in an obvious attempt to get him to show her where she’d be sleeping. Kiefer grabbed her bags and head up the stairs with Nova in tow. 

Settling the bags down in the room, Kiefer then made his way over to her and wrapped his arms round her, kissing the top of her head. “The sun will be setting soon, whaddya say we get a bite to eat and watch the sun set together, they are truly a beautiful sight to behold here” he offered. Nova mumbled something that he didn’t catch. “Sorry?”, “I’m not hungry” she repeated, seemingly annoyed. Kiefer broke from their hug, placed his arms on her shoulders and gently guided her backwards until the back of her legs were touching the bed, she sat on the edge of the bed as he knelt in front of her.

“Nova, in the week and a bit I’ve been with you, you’ve barely eaten, and you’re losing weight. I bought you here because I know it’s the one place you’ve never been and there are no memories here for you. I’ve bought you here to make new memories for the new life you now need to lead..” Nova could hear the annoyance in Kiefer’s tone, and still wanting to stay buried in the hole she’s dug for herself she tried to interject, but Kiefer kept talking, looking her dead in the eye as she did back, actually listening to him properly. “..Nova” he said, now becoming more stern, “I’ve bought you here for your own good, so you can heal. I’ve not bought you here so you can lay in bed and feel more sorry for yourself”. Nova blinked at the remark, she furrowed her brow a little at the hard truth, she had been sorry for herself, since the day David died. She wasn’t moving forward, she was standing still, not living, not anything. Just existing. Hearing it from Kiefer, right now, made her feel guilty, that she was being selfish. 

“Now what do you want for dinner?” he asked. Nova struggled to look him in the eye now, “Soup” she offered. Kiefer gave a small smile “Alright then, that’s good” he praised her, standing up he kissed her forehead before turning to leave. Nova watched him go and head out the room, his words ringing round his head. She stood up and walked over to the bedroom window. The rolling mountains with a river that ran through a creek between caused a heavy sigh. The breath-taking view was starting to seep through her muddled and hazy mind. 

About 20 minutes later Kiefer called up the stairs to Nova, he was serving up as she walked into the kitchen. Nova felt sheepish, starting to feel embarrassed for her behaviour towards him for bringing her here. She sat on the breakfast bar stool as he got them two bottles of water from the fridge before sitting down next to her and beginning to tuck in. Nova watched him as he began to eat, “Go on, eat” he insisted. Nova went to grab a piece of sliced buttered bread and dipped it in the soup and took a bite. “Mmmm” he heard her say. “Good?” he asked, “The breads delicious, I mean, the soup is too but the breads amazing”. Kiefer smiled, glad she was eating, and watched her as she ate more. “I’m glad, John made the bread”. Nova looked at him then, screwing her face in regret. “I’m sorry I was rude to your friend when we arrived” she offered. “He knows what you’re going through, John won’t hold any hard feelings” Kiefer smiled, just glad to still see her eating. The rest of the meal went by in silence and Nova disappeared to bed straight after.

“Wait…..No” Nova cried, “Please don’t leave, Dav…” she was thrashing in her sleep, sweat dripping off her as she cried and called out for David. She sat bolt upright in the pitch dark, panting to get her breath back. Once she had woken a bit more, she cupped her hands over her face a silently cried. Laying back down she tried to fall back to sleep but she just couldn’t, reaching over to the side of the bed David use to lay to find it empty in the darkness. The now silent tears rolled down her cheeks and no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn’t settle. 

Pulling the duvet back she slipped out of bed and padded out the room. The landing was lit only by the moonlight that shone through the big window at the end of the hall, there were 6 more doors on that landing, she knocked on a couple and peaked her head round, but couldn’t find what she was looking for. She knocked softly again, and peaking in saw Kiefer asleep in bed, hearing his gentle snores. She climbed up on the bed next to him and gently shook his arm, “Kiefer….Kiefer” she whispered. Kiefer woke, “Nova, are you alright?” he asked, worried something was wrong. “I had a bad dream, can I sleep here with you?” she asked, feeling like a silly little kid as she spoke to him. “Sure” he smiled. Nova climbed under his duvet as he sat up, paying particular caution to make sure she didn’t lift the covers off of him. “Uh, could you turn around for a sec?” he asked, a little embarrassed. “Why?” she asked, “I need to get some underwear” he was blushing in the dark but she would never know. He saw her turn her head in what little light there was in the room and grabbed a pair of boxers and shimmied them on. Then proceeded to snuggle back into bed with Nova. He felt her relax next to her and they both very soon were sleep again.

The next day, Kiefer had been catching up with John, they had been out for a ride. He’s been up early so he could help muck out the horses with John and the staff he had. They’d ridden up across the creek, looking back at the house. “I just don’t know how to help get her back. She’s not the same person she was before” Kiefer said feeling lost, “Of course she’s not, she never will be” John confirmed, “But she just can’t seem to snap out of this…….daze….she’s in” he couldn’t think of a better word for it. “I was supposed to be recording my first album, but it’s all kinda of been put on hold. Jude’s back in LA putting the music together and has said he can have some things shipped out for me to record my parts, so at least there’s that” Kiefer explained, “I just don’t feel I can leave her right now”. John nodded “She’ll get there Kiefer, it will take as long as it takes. “I know you’re right, she ate something last night, which makes me feel better,” he paused for a moment “How long after Jill died until you started to get back to some sort of normalcy, you know, like eating, getting dressed?” Kiefer asked. John thought for a moment “A few weeks” he looked sad, and Kiefer hated reminding him, but needed someone to talk to who might understand what Nova was going through. “I would have been happy staying in bed for a lot longer, but my brother said something that made me realise I couldn’t live like that” John explained, “What was it?” Kiefer asked. John looked at him now, seeing the sadness in John’s eyes but at the same time the determination to keep going. “He asked me if Jill would want me to be like that. Consuming myself in my grief and not living at all. He said ‘John, you’re my brother and I love you, but you can’t go on like this, there are people around you still that love you and she would have not wanted you to be like this’ and he was right” John smiled then “Every day I think of her, every day I miss her, but every day I want to make her proud of me. Tucking tail between my legs and hiding away from the world wasn’t the answer” John adjusted himself in his saddle. “You know she’ll be gone 3 years come this winter” he asked Kiefer. Kiefer raised his eyebrows in disbelief “That long already?” astonished at how quickly it’d gone. “Yeah, it’s gone by fast for you, but for me, it feels like a lifetime.” John then clicked his tongue and gently kicked his horse and Kiefer followed, in deep thought about what John had said, spurring his own horse to follow John back to the ranch.

Kiefer made his way back into the house, looking around for any sign of life. Nothing, he went up to the guest room Nova was in, she was asleep in bed, he glanced over to the clock on the way 1:25pm, he turned to the on suite bathroom, switching the light on as he entered and turned on the shower quickly, then went back over to Nova, pulled the duvet off her and leant down to pick her up. Nova woke with a start “Kiefer! What are you doing! Kiefer…” she couldn’t finish her sentence as he took both of them into the shower and she screamed “KIEFER! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!! IT’S FREEZING” she cried, “You need a shower, I’m sorry but if you’re going to end up sleeping in my bed, you need to pick up on your personal hygiene!” He held onto her tightly as she wriggled and writhed in his grip “KIEFER!!!” she screamed still, shaking at the coldness. He propped her against the wall and used one of his hands to adjust the temperature, then just stood there looking at her. Nova couldn’t look at him, she was embarrassed that he’d felt the need to do this. It was making her think that Kiefer only had her best interests at heart and that she really should listen to him. When he said eat, she should eat, if he said wash or change clothes, then she should and so forth, so she decided in that moment, she should do as he says. Within reason of course. 

Once she’s stopped shaking in his arms he gently set Nova’s feet on the floor of the shower, giving her a second to gain her balance. She still couldn’t look at him. “Now get washed and dressed. Then come down” he asked her gently, rubbing the side of her arm with comfort. She looked up at him for a split second “Ok”. He stepped out the shower and she watched him grab a towel to dry the worst of his drenched self off. “I mean it” he said just before leaving her to wash, “I know” she said biting her bottom lip apprehensively. Once gone, she sighed heavily and began to undress, throwing her pyjama’s to the floor of the shower. 

Kiefer was stood leaning against a kitchen counter top, sipping coffee when he heard Nova coming down the stairs. When she saw him, she was going to comment about the fact he’d laid out some clothes for her to put on, but then saw him wearing all denim with a black cowboy hat. “What’s going on?” she asked, feeling a pit of dread in her stomach. “We’re goin’ out” he smirked. “Oh Kiefer, I really don’t want to be around….people” she felt like the shower had woken her up from her torment, but was now only wanting to slip back into it if that’s what he had in mind, she couldn’t think of anything worse than being around people, especially people she didn’t know. “It’ll just be us” he confirmed, Nova was actually surprised that the dread inside started to ease slightly. “Where we going?” she asked curiously, furrowing her brow at him. “You’ll see” his smirk turning to a smile then. Stepping over to her, and wrapping an arm round her shoulder and walking them both out to the front of the house where John stood holding the reins of two beautiful stocky Appaloosa horses. Nova’s eyes widened as she looked at the horses and then up at Kiefer “We’re going riding?” she asked, with what could have been mistaken for a hint of excitement on her part, but Kiefer thought it too good to be true at this point. “Aha” he smirked, “Now?” she asked, “Aha, I’m gonna teach you how to ride, and John’s packed us a little picnic, she then noticed one of the horses had a saddlebag, which was bulging. “Really?!” Nova was astonished that he would be trying to get her to ride, right here and now. Kiefer laughed at her and headed over to his horse. Nova followed him slowly. John threw one of the horses reins at Kiefer in jest, then turned to Nova. “I’ll jimmy you up Nova” and bent down on one knee, palms on said knee facing up, “Now grab the saddle, that’s it” and John hoisted her up onto the horse and grabbed the reins. “This is Rusty, he’s a kind ol’ boy and will look after ya real good. And he loves a good pat” John loudly patted Rusty’s neck as he handed Nova the reins. Nova looked down at John and thanked him sincerely for getting her up on the horse, and for the introduction. John then winked at Nova “Now go have some fun” he smiled up at her.

Kiefer taught Nova how to ride western, walking and trotting, careful not to go fast due to the food he was carrying in the saddlebags. “Find your balance and let the horse do the work, you’re just the driver” he called to her. Once Nova had settled into riding, feeling the breeze in her face and the horse beneath her, she took a few deep breaths, taking in the scenery. The rolling mountains that surrounded them. “Where are we going?” She called out, “Not too much farther” he confirmed. A few minutes later he jumped down from his horse and tied the reins to a tree. Then helped Nova down, and got the saddlebags unpacked. Setting everything down on a blanket. “You want some help?” Nova offered, Kiefer was surprised at the offer, but didn’t need her help.

Kiefer laid on the blanket, on his side while he tucked into the cheese, sandwich meats and biscuit hamper that John at prepared and packed for them, popping the odd grape into his mouth. Nova sat, her view was the horses, Kiefer chuckled to himself and shook his head slowly, “What?” she enquired, “You’re missing it” he informed her, raising an eyebrow at her. “Missing what?” she was confused where he was going with this, “Turn around”. When she looked behind her, down the hill were a herd of buffalo grazing, some with young. Nova’s eyes widened “Wow” she said breathlessly “Oh my days Kiefer, they’re amazing”. He watched her and it warmed his heart to see a glimpse of the Nova he knew well. “Come sit here” he patted the blanket beside him as he sat up himself to watch the buffalo. Nova was mesmerised by them and did as he asked, “Are they yours?” she asked, “Yes, aren’t they beautiful?” he asked. 

“I’m sorry about earlier” Nova blurted out, “The shower?” Kiefer enquired. “Yeah” Nova confirmed. “If you’d of asked, I would’ve showered” she offered, “No you wouldn’t” Kiefer threw a grape in the air and caught it in his mouth, laughing as he chewed on it. No she wouldn’t have, but she wouldn’t admit it, not now anyway. It was the kick up the arse she needed to help start snapping her out of her depression.

Nova just looked, and sighed, a hint of a smile creeping through. He saw it, and then saw it was as if she had caught herself starting to have some positive and happy experience, she then looked down, beginning to pluck at the blanket as if feeling guilty. “No ones going to hold it against you if you smile and have fun” he offered, she looked at him then, feeling guilty replied “I know”. “Do you think David would want you to be like this?” he asked, curious as to how she’d react. The way she looked at him then made him know she was actually thinking about it. “You’ve got family and friends who all love you, a career a lot of people would kill for. Please don’t turn it all away. You know that’s not what you want, it’s not what I’d want for you. And you know damn sure David wouldn’t want it for you” he spoke softly to her. Tears began to fill her eyes, but she blinked them back, realising this conversation needed to be had. 

“I know, it’s just, everything I have is because of him. He took me out of such a bad time of my life where I was being controlled, causing me to be depressed, and showed me I could be the one in control. He taught me so much and I have so much I’m grateful to him for…” she began but Kiefer interrupted “And he knew how grateful you were”, she then carried on “I just, I feel so different” she confirmed. Kiefer fell silent “I honestly feel like someone has grabbed my heart and squeezed the life out of it. The ache in my chest is the only thing that lets me know I’m alive still”. Kiefer wrapped an arm round her shoulder and pulled her close. The tears began to fall, but she felt more in control of her emotions in this moment. “I just don’t want to be alone” she cried into his chest “I’m so scared of being alone for the rest of my life”. Kiefer rocked her back and forth as she cried, kissing the top of her head “I’m here” he told her, “I’m not leaving”. She pulled away then, “But for how long, at some point, we’ll both have to go back home and back to our lives, or whatever’s left of mine” she sniffed, using her arm to wipe away the tears. “Not until you’re ready Nova” he reassured her, pulling her back into a hug.


	4. Chapter 4

As the days went by, Nova was gradually finding her way back to herself. She knew she would never be the same and that she had to learn to live without David. It just seemed like such a mountain to climb on her own. The truth was, she wasn’t climbing it alone, Kiefer was behind her every step of the way pushing her up, and now she was starting to realise that she had a much deeper friendship with Kiefer than she realised, it was starting to breathe new life into her, slowly but surely. At night, she slept beside Kiefer, if she didn’t fall asleep in her bed before him, he would wake up with her next to him in his own. In the end, he told her to “Just fucking sleep in my bed with me”, which earned him a very small giggle from her. There was nothing in it other than Nova just not being ready to be in bed alone. Yes he’d hold her when she cried at night, and cuddled her when she asked, but it was never sexual. He was just there for her, and that’s all she wanted and needed for now, and the last thing she would ever think about now was getting into another relationship, as far as she was concerned, that was it for her. She not only saw herself as damaged goods, but also just didn’t want to be with anyone else. Certainly not for the foreseeable future. 

Everyday Kiefer was seeing more and more of Nova return. She was helping out with the ranch duties, going riding with him, John and anyone else who wanted to ride, occasionally Kiefer or John would take her to the grocery store that was in the nearest town about 5 miles away, usually she’d only go if she needed any women’s products, but gradually she just found herself going just to have the company. The odd day here and there she’d spend an afternoon in bed, and Kiefer let her, she was moving forward after all. 

One evening after dark, after she’d slept for a few hours up in her room, she came down to find Kiefer out on the back porch, sipping whiskey and relaxing in his hot tub. Nova’s brow furrowed as she walked through the lounge, and around a load of boxes and out onto the porch. 

“Hey” she greeted him, “Hey, fancy a dip?” he offered, but Nova screwed her face up, “Nah, not tonight”. ‘Suit yourself” he said dipping his head back into the water to wet his hair and take a sip of whiskey. “What’s with all the boxes?” she enquired. “Jude sent them, its recording equipment so I can lay down my guitar and vocals for the album”. Nova’s eyes went wide and she covered her mouth in shock. Kiefer saw her reaction and asked what was wrong. Nova sat on one of the porch chairs and buried her face in her hands before responding to him. “Kiefer I’m so sorry” she said, sighing with sincerity. “What?” he was confused. “Your album! I promised to help you!” she remembered that he’d asked her to help produce his album with his friend Jude, it was something that when it was all talked about she had been really excited for, but with everything that had happened, and once David had become so gravely ill, it had fallen by the wayside. “Nova, don’t be silly” He didn’t mind, it was exceptional circumstances, “Who knows, if it goes well, you can help with the next one” he winked at her and leaned back looking up at the stars in the sky as the hot tub eased the aches and pains from working the ranch that day.

“OH FUCK IT” Nova yelled in pain as she sat on the floor and rubbed her foot having just dropped something heavy on it. Hissing more expletives until the pain subsided. Once she’d calmed down she could hear Kiefer calling. He’d come up to her bedroom this afternoon to find her and offer to go out for a ride, but she wasn’t there, wasn’t downstairs and was just starting to worry where she might be, she opened the door and called to him “I’m in your study!”. He jogged down the landing to where she was, seeing that all the equipment from the boxes downstairs had been unpacked and set up. “You did this all by yourself?” he asked her, surprised. “Yeah! Well, it’s the least I can do” she smiled up at him. He hugged her “You didn’t have to” he said kissing the top of her head. “Yeah I did, only thing is, I haven’t used some of this tech, so I dunno how much help I’ll be”. “It’s the same stuff we’ve used at Ironworks, so don’t worry, I know how it all works” he confirmed. 

Nova helped Kiefer record his vocals and rhythm guitar parts so they could be emailed over to Jude to mix and produce. Where Kiefer struggled with his vocals, Nova gave him tips and hints, teaching him how to do things, how to sing certain words so they sounded clearer, and also help him find ways round things where his vocal range just couldn’t reach. “DAMNIT” he shouted at himself, a line in a song being too high for him to sing within his range. Nova stood up from the computer where the recording was happening, and walked over to him. “Here” she offered, pressing her thumbs and index into his diaphragm “Sing the line” she instructed “I can’t” he huffed, “Kiefer! Sing the fucking line” she scolded him. So he did and as he began to sing, when he approached the note he needed to hit, she sharply pushed her thumbs and fingers into his diaphragm and he hit it. “There you go, just like that” she smirked as she walked back to the computer to sit down. “How did…” he began, “Right do it again” she interrupted, getting through the song.

They sat eating dinner that night, John had cooked a BBQ for his son’s and sent some food over to them. “Thanks for helping me today” Kiefer was grateful for Nova’s help with his singing in particular. “Honestly, it was nothing” Nova confirmed, nibbling the meat off a chicken drumstick. “I get so frustrated with the high notes. My range is so small, how big is your range?” Kiefer could only just stretch an octave, “Almost three octaves” Nova confirmed, now chewing on a corn cob. “Three!” Kiefer said surprised, “Yeah” Nova looked at him with a raised brow and saw his face drop, “Kiefer, I’ve been working on my vocals for almost 20 years, exercises almost daily, well, up until recently. How long have you been actually working properly on your vocals for?” she enquired. “About 6 months” he confirmed. “See! Give it time, you’ll learn.” Kiefer still felt a little deflated. “Look, if you stuck me in front of a camera with a script, how well do you think I’d do with no actor training?” she asked him, putting it like that seemed to get through to him. “It takes time, just be patient with yourself” she advised, thinking she could apply that bit of advice to herself right now.


End file.
